10 Items from the Touch of Class Catalog that will Absolutely Murder You

For those of you who are blissfully unaware, Touch of Class is a catalog and website dedicated to selling you fine home furnishings straight from the bowels of Hell. I used to be you, roaming my village and dell unaware that I had aged into qualifying for receiving catalogs of junk. There comes a time … Continue reading 10 Items from the Touch of Class Catalog that will Absolutely Murder You

A Douchebag’s Guide for Winning Me Back

Originally published on Medium. Hello, ___________________(Last Name, First Name, Middle Initial), Well, well, well, look who it is. Long time no see, ___________________ (Last Name). How have I been? I’ve been awesome; I already know how you’re doing. You’re doing lousy because you’re scrolling through my Facebook feed checking to see how I’m doing. You … Continue reading A Douchebag’s Guide for Winning Me Back