I am a big fan of Tori Amos and in 2005 I fell in love with her memoir, Piece by Piece. It’s a terrible, TERRIBLE book but we had a great time talking about it. As a huge fan of her first four albums, I suspected this would not age well and we were not disappointed. If you haven’t checked out I Don’t Even Own a Television, you’re missing out. It’s a great podcast about bad books and I’ve been lucky enough to be on twice discussing the pinnacle of toxic masculinity, (james bond), and now the depths of toxic femininity. Click the picture and give it a listen!
Originally published on Medium.
I don’t know where this relationship is heading but you’re always there when I need you and that’s the most important thing. I like to think we’ll always be special to each other even if I don’t need you to keep weird Dylan away from me in the lunch line anymore. Of course, now he constantly asks about you so if you run into him bring up how much fun you had when we went to the park and you pushed me on the swings.
Dear Taylor Hanson,
Good morning, sweetie! Don’t forget to pick up your brothers for band practice. I’ll be home later after I get out of 8th period. How about we go roller skating later and then map out my complex feelings about my desire to have sex but need the construct of marriage to feel more comfortable about it?Maybe we could just lie around and talk about that for a bit? I showed your picture to the guys who block me when I try to get to my bus. They had no idea you were a famous boy band guy and a couple think they know you from Stowe High School. One of them mentioned there was no way you would be interested in me but he still fucked off so I think he got that I would rather have a made up boyfriend than have to navigate him yelling at me to show him my boobs.
I know we’re going through a rough patch right now with this being long distance but I just want you to know I’m committed to you and I’m all in with this relationship. I know I got really teary on that phone call outside that bar and you couldn’t hear me very well which is why I repeated over and over, “I love you and I don’t care that you’re incredibly JEALOUS and also are an MMA FIGHTER, we can work this out.” Thank you for staying on the phone with me while I loudly talked to you as I walked down that dark street until those guys finally stopped following me. You’re my prince charming.
Dear Picture of My Cousin I Used One Time,
Sorry, Jeff. It worked though! Say hi to your fiance for me.
I still cannot believe this worked but that guy was super drunk and when I showed him that painting of you he scoffed and declared he couldn’t be intowomen who were into Burners. I put a $20 in the local collection plate so I like to think we’re even.
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Originally published on Medium
I’m starting to become alarmed at the amount of misandry I see present in the men of today. That’s all that I can diagnose the current state of affairs in regards to the defense of Pissbaby’s recorded comments boasting about sexual assault. Billy Bush has come out to assure us that as a 33 year old man he was unaware that rape was wrong because he was just a “boy.” From the sea of support and assurance that “locker room talk” is something that 1) happens in locker rooms and 2) is excusable because it’s just how men are, I can only assume that “boys” are asking to be destroyed. You clearly are engaging in some sort of cry for help.
This poses an important question: if “boys will be boys” and “boys” think it’s acceptable to rape people or to try to impress people by making them think they rape people, why wouldn’t we just kill boys?
Go with me here, women have to live defensively. Even more so if you’re not a White Woman. And a lot of men assure me that the reason anything bad ever happens to women is their fault for attire/presence/state of sobriety/not leaving/not leaving fast enough/not getting help/expecting people to help/not fighting back/not taking elaborate martial arts classes/assorted other reasons that involve backbreaking, acrobatic logic. So if it’s the fault of women that Pissbaby and assorted other “boys” feel entitled to harass us, shouldn’t we just do a control kill? If you want women to take responsibility of the situation, isn’t this the most effective way to do so?
We do it with deer, raccoon, rats and other vermin. And the phrasing “boys will be boys” is clearly some sort of internalized self hatred where you have reduced yourselves to bestial, criminal impulse, why wouldn’t we profile you and exterminate those of you that are a harm to yourself and others?
I can actually answer this question: because as much as you all complain about how you have it so tough, the humanity of White Men is never questioned or challenged. People are mean to you, sure, but you’re still people. That’s why we haven’t organized a massive uprising against you involving drinking your blood and casting every John Updike novel into the sea. Even in cases of class, the humanity of poor White Men remains intact in a way that isn’t present in other marginalized groups.
So “boys,” here’s the real talk, it’s not acceptable to rape women. It’s not acceptable to grab them by their pussy. It’s not acceptable to talk about grabbing them by their pussies. It’s okay for you to lose your job if you do these things.
If you cannot meet this incredibly low standard of human decency, you might consider what happens to other types of overwhelming and toxic infestations.