May was a month of mysterious reflection, the warped, smokey truth that lies in lying mirrors. It was stressful, and it tested you. The High Priestess rules youth, that ambiguous, shady time of actualization where you’re moving towards a goal on faith. All you have is instinct and hope, and it’s easy to confuse the two. It’s important to confuse the two. We’d never get anything done if we only knew the present truth. Groping in the dark for hopeful truth is the human condition. Thank the Goddess it’s over, though. Ugh. That’s a small doses reality. We all need a break to experience joy and rest. The Fool is here for you. While the High Priestess is the wispy glimpse of what might be, the Fool is all about the what is. The joy in the journey, not in the goal. June is all about being present. I know what you’re thinking. “I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME THIS SHIT, LAUREN. I KNEW IT.” To be fair, I didn’t give it to you until now. Six months in is a pretty good amount of time to wait to tell you that it’s time for you stop focusing out there and start being happy with what’s around you.
Here’s the thing about focusing on the future, it breeds into capitalistic ideas. If you’re constantly barreling towards something, you ignore what you’re sustaining. You ignore the stages of yourself that you have to be to be the next you. Future you wouldn’t want you to ignore the you that you are now. So nah.
The Fool is a the beginning of the journey. He’s the purest form of self. He’s joy, and excitement. He’s the first day of a hike, he’s you bright-eyed and busy tailed, ready to take on the world. He believes the world is good. He is a Fool. But he’s also not wrong. In the wake of our realities, we are jaded because it feels pragmatic. Sometimes it’s pragmatic to trust even when you don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s pragmatic to access joy, even when it’s not working. You need a fucking break, kid. Give yourself a few moments to just be child you. Be vibrant. If you cannot deal, and just need to avoid dealing, it’s okay. You’re still a functional and responsible person. You are meeting needs. Sure, they aren’t the needs that make you look the best. They aren’t the needs that make you look like a energetic saint who never fucks up. Who cares? Don’t judge your needs. Don’t rank them. You do that all the time. Treat them all as priorities.
Which means, fuck dishes. Fuck making the bed. Fuck work at 3pm. Fuck what you can. You aren’t being selfish. You are leveling up to Expert Boundaries and not giving a fuck is the break you need. It’s recuperation.
Challenge yourself this month. Give yourself permission to play around. To fuck off. Even, to be bored. Boredom breeds creativity. Live without your headphones on your way to work. Tell your boss you’re leaving early. Even if it’s just once. Own that you need down time, up time, or in-between time. You need time to forget yourself to be yourself.
This month, forget yourself. Blossom into the you that you’ve been fighting. It’s okay.
You’ll be alright. I promise.
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